Parenting is a contact sport

After the kids went to bed last night, we heard a repetitive thumping noise from Helen's room. I went in and asked her what the noise was, and she responded (as if this was perfectly normal and acceptable) that she was doing flips on the bed. She then demonstrated one, and in doing so, accidentally kicked me in the face, hard. I'll have to come up with a more interesting story to explain the black eye. A few weeks ago Helen wiped out on her bike, and the bike's front sprocket left a symmetrical set of five nasty-looking gouges down her shin. I told her that when people ask what happened, she should tell them she was attacked by a bear.